The following information has been provided as a basic resource and should not be interpreted as an exact description or exhaustive list of requirements. In addition to reviewing the applicable information below, you should consult with the member(s) of your tradition(s) responsible for providing funeral guidance before making your funeral arrangements on Pharewell.

Funeral

A Hindu funeral typically takes place one-to-two days following the death. While funeral rites and traditions may vary, they generally include an open-casket viewing, specific funeral “mantras” or chants, and a “karta,” or Hindu priest who presides over all the funeral rites (the eldest son may preside under the priest’s oversight at the cremation).

Cremation Ceremony

Hindus believe that cremation is the fastest way to aid the soul in escaping the body. Therefore, the mukhagni, or cremation ceremony, is held directly after the funeral, at the place of cremation, and involves a ritual burning of the body that is attended by the Hindu priest and male family members. Non-Hindus do not participate in the mukhagni. Cremation rituals vary, but they often include prayers and singing, the arrangement of rice balls and flowers around the body, the sprinkling of water on the remains, and the offering of food. Traditionally, it is preferred to scatter the cremated remains on the waters of the Ganges River in India, but many Hindus today take the cremated remains to a place closer to home. In the United States, cremation must be performed by licensed crematories; however, many allow Hindu cremation rituals to be performed on site. Following the cremation, there may also be a reception at the family residence.

Mourning Period

There is generally a ten-day period after the death during which the immediate family follows Hindu mourning customs. They refrain from visiting the family shrine and are prohibited from entering a temple or any other sacred place, since they are considered to be spiritually impure while mourning. During this period, the “preta-karma,” an important Hindu death ritual that assists the decedent’s soul in moving from spirit form to its new body, also takes place. After the mourning period, the family and those who are specifically invited, attend the shraddha, the third funeral ceremony.

• Given the short time frame from death to cremation, embalming is often not necessary
• It is customary for funeral attendees to dress conservatively and wear white (not black); no gifts or flowers should be brought to the funeral

Prayer Service

Immediately following the death, the body is washed and covered with a white cotton sheet by family members. The body is then transported to the location of the funeral, typically outside the mosque, in a location where members of the community may gather, such as a prayer room, community square, or courtyard. The decedent and all attendees face Mecca, the holy center of Islam, and funeral prayers are led by an “Imam,” or holy leader. Modern Islamic communities allow women at the funeral prayer service, and attendees form at least three lines (e.g., men, followed by children, with women in the back).

Burial

After prayers, the body is taken to the burial site, often by four men, in a silent procession of friends and relatives. Traditionally, only men attend the burial, yet some Muslim communities allow women and children to be in attendance. Mourners at an Islamic funeral may express grief, but only within certain standards of decorum; outward signs of extreme emotion are not permitted. It is also customary for each person at the burial to throw three handfuls of dirt into the grave.

Mourning Period

Following the prayer service and burial, mourners may gather at the home of the immediate family to express their condolences. Traditionally, a meal is served, and guests usually stay for the entire day (family members may stay for the whole week).

Forty-day mourning periods are not uncommon, although the mourning period for a relative is typically three days, during which community members may bring food and flowers. Widows may observe substantially longer periods of mourning. Many modern Muslim communities observe shortened periods.

• Islam prohibits cremation, as it is believed that there will be a physical resurrection of the body on Judgement Day
• Since the burial must occur as quickly as possible following death, there is no viewing, wake, or visitation
• Autopsies are strongly discouraged, as they delay burial, move the body away from the site of death, and are considered a desecration of the body
• Embalming is considered a desecration of the body and can only be performed if required by law
• The casket is rarely open at an Islamic funeral
• Non-Muslims may attend an Islamic funeral
• Funeral attendees must dress modestly
  • Women must wear a headscarf
  • Shoes are removed before prayer

Funeral Customs

Before the funeral service begins, immediate family members wear a black ribbon that is cut while standing, to symbolize the grief from the loss of a loved one. This tradition is called “kriah,” or tearing. It is an ancient tradition that dates back to the time of King David. More traditional Jews may choose to tear their actual garments.

Jewish funerals generally consist of a brief service that lasts less than one hour, during which attendees may listen to readings from the Book of Psalms and a eulogy. Some of the readings may be in Hebrew and others in English, and the officiant, often a “rabbi,” will explain the Hebrew portions of the ceremony. A rabbi, however, is not required to perform a funeral ceremony, as any Jewish person may do so. A “minyan,” or a quorum of ten Jewish men over the age of thirteen, is also required to recite prayers.

Another funeral tradition is the “shemira,” or the custom of watching over the decedent from the time of death until burial. As a sign of respect, the body is not left alone and volunteers from the Jewish community sit with the remains, often reading psalms until the burial. Before burial, a ritual washing of the body, known as “tahara,” must also be performed. Those who volunteer for this task are members of a “chevra kadisha,” or holy society, who are on call 24 hours a day. Men perform the ritual on males, and women do so for females. Once the body is washed, the decedent is clothed in a white linen shroud. Men also wear a “tallit,” or prayer shawl, and some people are buried in a “kittel,” a white garment worn on the High Holidays and sometimes at weddings.

Burial

Traditionally, a Jewish burial takes place within one day of death, in accordance with the Torah (sacred Jewish scripture). Outside of Orthodox Jewish communities, however, burial rarely occurs this quickly and instead takes place as soon as possible following the death. During the graveside service at the cemetery, more prayers are read, and a plain wooden casket is customarily used to not disturb the natural decomposition process. This is also done in accordance with the biblical teaching that to dust we shall return, as well as to not distinguish between the rich and the poor. Moreover, when the casket is lowered into the grave, family members participate in shoveling dirt onto the casket to symbolize their acceptance of the finality of death. It is also a custom to place stones on the headstone to keep the soul down, and because unlike flowers, stones do not die and keep the person’s memory alive. Upon leaving the cemetery, attendees will wash their hands as a symbolic gesture to disassociate the living from death and impurity.

Mourning Period

After the funeral, if attendees return to the family’s residence, the mirrors may be covered, which is meant to prevent mourners from being distracted from focusing on the decedent. The torn items used by immediate family members are worn for “shiva,” a seven-day period of intense private mourning and reclusion following the funeral, (less observant mourners may only practice one or two days of shiva). During this period, mourners traditionally sit on the floor and do not wear shoes so that they can focus on grieving. They remain at home and a service is held there each night. Those who go to the home bring food (traditionally round foods, which symbolize the continuity of life, such as bread, hard-boiled eggs, etc.) to serve both the family and their guests.

More traditional Jews will wear the torn item for the entire thirty days of “shloshim” following the funeral. Shloshim, while still a mourning period, is also a time designated for reentering the community. During this time, it is tradition to refrain from cutting one’s hair (men also refrain from shaving) and attending social or even religious events (a mourner may attend the religious ceremony, but not the festive meal that follows). Women do not wear makeup, and couples refrain from intimacy. This break from daily routine symbolizes the disruption that death brings and demonstrates grief through self-sacrifice. The length of both shiva and shloshim may change depending on the time of year and any religious festivals; a rabbi should be consulted for guidance.

The mourning period may last as long as a year after the funeral, at which point, the family gathers at the gravesite for what is called an unveiling, a service meant to provide the family closure after what is considered an adequate time to grieve and during which the gravestone is unveiled. Thereafter, memorial candles are lit on the yearly anniversary of a death, known as “yahrzeit.”

• There is no viewing in a Jewish funeral; to honor the decedent, the casket remains closed to friends and family
• Cremation is often not desired, on account of the Jews who died in the crematoria during the Holocaust
• Caskets must not be made of a material that slows down or impedes the body’s natural return to the elements
  • For this same reason, embalming is prohibited
• Burials never take place on the Sabbath or holidays
• Headstones may be elaborate or simple, but generally include the decedent’s Hebrew name
• Music and flowers are typically not appropriate for most Jewish funerals, kosher food, is however often welcome
• Men are generally expected to wear a skullcap and women a head covering and close-toed shoes, both with dark and modest attire

The Vigil Service

Usually takes place during the period of visitation and viewing at the funeral home. It allows families to mourn, including those who are unable to attend the funeral, and generally consists of a Service of the Word, with Sacred Scripture readings, accompanied by prayer, remembrance of the decedent, and possibly, a rosary. Although the Mass allows pastorally for a brief remembrance of the decedent, the Vigil is more flexible and is the best moment to offer other remembrances. The Vigil may be held in a funeral home, a church or chapel (including a funeral home chapel), or another appropriate place for prayer and reflection.

The Funeral Mass

The central liturgical celebration for the decedent by family, friends, and the Christian community. The Church encourages the faithful to celebrate Mass when one of its members dies, and that the parish community be informed of the death, perhaps through an announcement at Sunday Mass, and be invited to attend and pray with the family at the funeral. When Mass cannot be celebrated, the Funeral Liturgy can be outside of a Mass, especially if there are no other Catholic friends or relatives of the decedent. However, the parish family may be the primary support for the decedent, in which case, a parish Funeral Mass is warranted.

The Funeral Mass is a Eucharistic celebration and must be carried out in a sacred place (not a funeral home or funeral home chapel), such as a properly designated parish church, parish chapel, mausoleum chapel at a Catholic cemetery, or another sacred Catholic chapel or oratory. Any request to celebrate in a place other than a designated Catholic sacred place must be made in advance to the Office of the Bishop.

When cremation is chosen, it is recommended that the body be cremated after the funeral, thereby allowing for the presence of the body at the Funeral Mass. When pastoral circumstances require it, however, cremation and committal may take place even before the Funeral Liturgy. This liturgy constitutes, nevertheless, a Funeral Mass rather than a “Memorial Mass” (a service that is celebrated when the body is not present).

The Rite of Committal

The conclusion of the funeral rite and the final act of the community of faith in caring for the body of its deceased member. It should normally be celebrated at the place of committal (beside the open grave or place of entombment). The burial of a baptized person should be in a sacred place, ideally in a Catholic cemetery, parish cemetery, or columbarium. However, the Church does not mandate a Catholic cemetery, and a Catholic may be buried in a non-Catholic cemetery when the ground is blessed for burial. The remains may be interred (in a grave), or entombed (in a mausoleum or, in the case of cremation, in a columbarium). The Church guides the faithful to respect the cremated remains of a body, and neither the practice of scattering cremated remains nor the practice of keeping cremated remains at a residence is considered to be the reverent disposition that the Church requires. Furthermore, the diocesan Office of Worship or the pastor can explain how to properly bury remains at sea, in an urn, coffin, or other container.

Additional Information

• The funeral director should immediately contact the parish office or pastor to determine:
  • Church availability,
  • The appropriate minister(s), and
    • A priest for the Mass
    • A priest, deacon, or others for the Vigil Service
  • The required parish staff
    • It is generally recommended that the music planner, cantor, lectors, Communion ministers, and hospitality ministers be provided by the parish
      • The parish music director, funeral planner, or a qualified cantor meets with the family to assist with appropriate music selections
• Although cremation is now permitted by the Church, it does not enjoy the same value as burial of the body
  • In April 1997, the Holy See granted an indult for the United States to allow the diocesan bishop to permit the presence of the cremated remains of a body at a Funeral Mass
  • The Church clearly prefers and urges that the body of the decedent be present for the funeral rites, since the presence of the human body better expresses the values which the Church affirms in those rites
• Autopsies and embalming are permitted
• Traditionally, Catholic funerals are not held on Sundays
• Depending on the circumstances, Catholic funerals generally take place within one week after death
  • Cremation can cause further delays due to regulatory and administrative requirements
• For more information, please visit the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB) website

The following information has been provided as a basic resource and should not be interpreted as an exact description or exhaustive list of requirements. In addition to reviewing the applicable information below, you should consult with the member(s) of your tradition(s) responsible for providing funeral guidance before making your funeral arrangements on Pharewell.

Eligibility

“Honoring Those Who Served” is the title of the Department of Defense (DOD) program for providing dignified military funeral honors to Veterans who have defended our nation. Upon the family’s request, Public Law 106-65 requires that every eligible Veteran receive a military funeral honors ceremony, to include folding and presenting the United States burial flag and the playing of “Taps.”

Those eligible for military funeral honors, as set forth by the DOD, include:

• Military members who died while on active duty
• Veterans who served in the active military, naval, or air service and were discharged or released from that service by means of an “honorable” or “under honorable conditions” discharge
• Members or former members of the Selected Reserves who were discharged or released from service by means of an “honorable” or “under honorable conditions” discharge
• Members of the Commissioned Officers Corps of the Public Health Service and National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration
• Certain civilian or contractual groups who have been given active-duty determinations may also be eligible for funeral honors, as they may have been named active-duty designees for the military, Navy, or Air Force services

To establish a Veteran’s eligibility for military funeral honors, a DD Form 214, “Certificate of Release or Discharge from Active Duty,” or any discharge document showing honorable service is required.

The funeral director should be notified promptly of the desire for military funeral honors for which the decedent qualifies, as the DOD program calls for funeral directors to request military funeral honors on behalf of the Veteran’s family. The Department of Veterans Affairs National Cemetery Administration cemetery staff can also assist with arranging military funeral honors at national cemeteries. In addition, Veterans Service Organizations (VSOs) may assist in providing military funeral honors.

Logistics

In the case of fallen service members, troops re-enter the country through Dover Air Force Base, where they are transferred to the Air Force Mortuary Affairs Operations center to prepare the remains for burial in full-dress uniform. Attendees generally include the carry guard, the chaplain, and the family, among others. Personal belongings are shipped after being reviewed by staff at the Joint Personal Effects Depot, and the military escort may personally hand over to the family effects that were on the service member at the time of death. The remains may then be directly flown on a military, military-contracted, or commercial plane from Dover to the airport nearest to the burial place. The remains are transported in an aluminum case adorned with a special “honor cover” of reinforced cardboard. The waterproof cover is only used once and is embossed with an American flag and the DOD seal on both ends.

When the remains reach their destination, the cover is replaced with a burial flag and the remains are then transported, generally by hearse with a military escort, to the burial place. The remains travel feet-first whenever they are moved and military personnel (often the specially trained military escort) render honors at each transfer point. For all active-duty deaths, an honor guard of at least two military personnel provides honors for the remains when they arrive at the destination airport.

Honors

Standard-honors funerals are for enlisted service members, whereas full-honors funerals are for commissioned officers, warrant officers, and senior non-commissioned officers (pay grade E-9). In either case, the sequence of events commences with the casket (with the United States flag draped over it) arriving at the cemetery by hearse or horse-drawn caisson, where it is received by pallbearers who carry the casket to the grave site. The pallbearers then hold the flag taut over the casket and a chaplain or designee performs the committal service. Once the committal service is complete, the attendees rise for the rendering of military honors. A firing party proceeds with a three-volley firing sequence. The bugler will then begin “Taps.” Thereafter, the pallbearers commence the flag-folding sequence. Once the flag is folded, it is inspected, and the highest-ranking officer presents it to the next of kin, recites a message of condolence, and salutes the flag.

A service held in a private cemetery can also have military honors, although the service may be less formal and performed by an honor guard from a local VSO. The funeral director should be consulted with respect to available services in the area.

Artículos conmemorativos

El Departamento de Asuntos de Veteranos de los Estados Unidos (VA) proporciona un gobierno lápida mortuoria o lápida sin costo; sin embargo, puede haber un costo por colocar el tributo, si se hace en un cementerio privado. Son elegibles los siguientes:

• Veteranos que no recibieron una baja deshonrosa o miembros del servicio que fallecieron mientras estaban en servicio activo, si cumplen con ciertos requisitos específicos de cuando sirvieron
• Miembros de la Guardia Nacional o Reservistas, si cumplen con ciertos requisitos específicos de su tipo de servicio
• Cónyuges elegibles u otros miembros de la familia enterrados en un cementerio nacional, un cementerio de veteranos estatal o tribal, un cementerio militar o un cementerio militar
  • Los cónyuges y familiares enterrados en un cementerio privado no son elegibles para estos artículos conmemorativos

De manera similar, VA proporciona medallones sin cargo. Son elegibles los siguientes:

• Veteranos que no recibieron una baja deshonrosa o miembros del servicio que fallecieron mientras estaban en servicio activo, si cumplen con ciertos requisitos específicos de cuando sirvieron
• Miembros de la Guardia Nacional o reservistas si cumplen con ciertos requisitos específicos de su tipo de servicio
  • Hay dos tipos de medallones: un medallón de bronce y un medallón de Medalla de Honor (si se recibió una Medalla de Honor)
• Oficiales comisionadas
  • El medallón estaría unido a un lápida mortuoria o lápida que fue comprado a expensas de ellos o de otra persona
  • También elegible si sirvieron en el Servicio de Salud Pública activo a partir del 6 de abril de 1917
• Los cónyuges y dependientes no son elegibles

La directora funeraria o se debe consultar a un representante del cementerio para ayudar a ordenar estos artículos conmemorativos. Para obtener más información, visite el sitio web de VA.

Logistics

Firefighter funeral traditions can vary by fire department. Nevertheless, after a line-of-duty death, the family is notified, according to department policy, and mourning begins. Badges are often shrouded for thirty days with black tape or other material, United States flags are lowered to half-staff (no other flags are flown) until sometime on or after the funeral, and dark bunting (loosely woven fabric) is often draped on the station sign or building, typically for thirty days.

The fire department will typically assign a liaison to act as the family’s single point of contact with the department, and who will also present the various options for a traditional funeral to the family. Funeral and cemetery officers may help make the actual funeral and interment/entombment arrangements, respectively. Depending on the department, a chaplain may also perform some of these responsibilities. In addition, the department may arrange: an honor guard for the viewing (if applicable), a color guard, ushers, and pallbearers for the funeral service, an appropriately sized location for the service, and the funeral procession or any other gatherings. It is also common for department officials to deliver a eulogy. Notwithstanding these arrangements and decisions, the final wishes of the firefighter and the preferences of the family take precedence.

Honors

When the family requests an honor guard, specific department members may be selected to stand vigil during the viewing. Teams of two, one at the head and one at the foot of the casket, typically take turns caring for watch before and after the viewing. The honor guard may include the pallbearers and a color guard for the funeral, who stand guard at the casket, carry the flags, and fold the burial flag, among other duties. The viewing may also include a “walk-through” ceremony during which uniformed members and local dignitaries pass single file by the casket to pay tribute to the fallen firefighter. If the family decides to bury the firefighter in uniform, the family liaison should be informed to have the department provide a uniform to the funeral home. In cases where the family elects a closed-casket viewing and/or funeral, a photograph of the firefighter in uniform (and perhaps other personal accoutrements, e.g., a helmet) may be placed on or next to the casket.

Funeral processions assisted by the local police department are common. Vehicles participating in the procession are often decorated with dark bunting and typically include several fire rigs, led by the firefighter’s rig, solemnly moving from the funeral home or church to the burial place. If the procession passes the firefighter’s station, personnel will typically stand outside at attention and toll a bell that has been muffled. Trucks crossing extended ladders with the United States flag hanging from the top may also be observed en route or at the cemetery entrance.

At the committal service, military-style funeral honors may be performed, such as a firing party, a bugler sounding “Taps,” and a folding and presentation of the burial flag. If the firefighter was a Veteran or died in the line of duty, a United States flag may be used. A department, local, association, or state flag can also be used as a burial flag. Bagpipers may play while the casket is being moved and/or during the service. Furthermore, a fire department member may read a statement about the firefighter’s last call, and a portable fire department bell is then tolled to recall a time when fire bells would ring to call to an alarm, and then once more, to indicate that the alarm had ended.

If the family forgoes honors and chooses a private service, the department may often still hold a memorial service for the officer. However, suicide and death resulting from an investigation of an officer suspected of criminal conduct present a dilemma to some departments, who may find that honoring such a member would be inappropriate.

Logistics

Police funeral traditions often vary by department or precinct. Nevertheless, after a line-of-duty death, the family is notified, according to department policy, and generally in person by the chief, chaplain, and designated representative. Following notification, mourning begins, and badges are often shrouded for thirty days with black tape or other material, United States flags are lowered to half-staff (no other flags are flown) until sometime on or after the funeral, and dark bunting (loosely woven fabric) is often draped on a cruiser and on the station sign or building, typically for thirty days.

The designated representative acts as the family’s point of contact with the department, and may have been chosen by the fallen officer or is assigned by the department to provide support and present the various options for a traditional funeral to the family. A Traffic Unit Supervisor may be made available to assist in planning the procession, and funeral and cemetery officers may help make the actual funeral and interment/entombment arrangements, respectively. Depending on the department, a chaplain may also perform some of these responsibilities. In addition, the department may arrange: a 24/7 watch of the officer’s home, an honor guard and casket watch for the viewing (if applicable), a color guard, ushers, and pallbearers for the funeral service, and the funeral procession (including parking) or any other gatherings. It is also common for department officials to deliver a eulogy. Notwithstanding these arrangements and decisions, the officer’s final wishes (if known) and the preferences of the family take precedence.

Honors

When the family requests an honor guard (specific department members may be selected), this may include the casket watch, pallbearers, and a color guard, who stand guard at the casket, carry the flags, and fold the burial flag, among other duties. Honors often begin with a casket watch, comprised of teams of two who take turns standing vigil, 24/7, before and after the viewing, one at the head and one at the foot of the casket, while facing one another. Other honor guard members may include the funeral commander and the firing party. The viewing may also incorporate a “walk-through” ceremony during which uniformed members and local dignitaries pass single file by the casket to pay tribute to the fallen officer. Departments with limited personnel may have to coordinate with neighboring departments for large, full-honors funerals.

In a typical religious service with full honors, the honor guard designee escorts the family to the staging area before commencement of the ceremony. The pallbearers carry the casket to its place of honor, and the color guard presents the colors. Following this ceremony, the funeral service begins, generally with an invocation and prayer, and/or other opening remarks or music. Sacred Scripture is read by a clergy member, and is often followed by commentary. Local officials, family, and friends may then offer a few words before a department official, such as the Chief, and/or others deliver a eulogy. The officer’s badge number may also be formally retired as part of the funeral service. After some music, closing remarks, and/or prayer, the color guard retires the colors and bagpipes often play as the pallbearers remove the casket.

The funeral procession that follows is often led by a motorcycle escort for traffic control to the cemetery. Behind the escort are often: the funeral director, the Chief, and chaplain; pallbearers; the hearse; family members (in cars and/or limousine(s)), local officials, fellow officers, and other vehicles, as well as a rear escort. Vehicles participating in the procession are often decorated with dark bunting and solemnly move from the funeral home or church to the burial place. Trucks crossing extended ladders with the United States flag hanging from the top may also be observed en route or at the cemetery entrance.

At the committal service, military-style funeral honors may be performed, such as a firing party, a bugler sounding “Taps,” and a folding and presentation of the burial flag. A 21-bell salute may also be substituted for the firing party, and if the officer was a Veteran or died in the line of duty, a United States flag may be used. A department, local, association, or state flag can also be used as a burial flag. If a eulogy was not delivered at the viewing or funeral service, a formal speech in memory of the fallen officer may be pronounced by a family member, friend, clergy member, dignitary, or department chief. Other honors offered at the committal service may include bagpipes, a ceremonial flyover by department aircraft, and a dove release. At the end of the committal service, a final radio call is often made in honor of the officer, mentioning the officer’s background, length of service, and usually ending in the words, “Gone, but not forgotten.”

Funeral terminology is foreign to most of us, so we’ve compiled a list of definitions to help save you time.